As I've mentioned several times in the past,
it's been a long journey to exactly where I am. Now I know I am in hell, and must refrain from losing myself. I want to be everything for everybody without letting things trigger my body. Sleeping in my car and I pray for my safety, even though I haven't felt the God in me lately. Everyday I arise, I am grateful, another day alive yet unstable. This has been going on way too long and I'm finally at the end of the road or maybe the rope that hung me with hope. I can see now clear how fear can lead us to to caring from control, I'm the one with the compassion, I keep turning the other cheek and it only makes the action of what I need disappear like I wasn't meant to have this, confidence. The best way I can be at the peace is to isolate while navigating these streets and cry myself a river before I go to sleep.
